Friday, January 15, 2010

Burning Out, Yet Again

When I was previously working the two jobs (before my hiatus from Sbux) after about a year or so (probably less) I started to burn out! Let me define "burn out" for you here...I was exhausted, perpetually cranky, I started to actually hate my part time job, etc. Basically the two jobs started to get to me, it affected my mood, my relationship with Antoine, our sex life, my well being and my sanity. Hence, the 7 month hiatus from Sbux before being forced to return due to a lack of funds.

So, here we are again, and after 6 months back at Sbux I'm starting to burn out. The exhaustion is kicking in and definitely the hatred for that place. I know that in this shitty economy I should consider myself lucky to have two jobs when some don't even have one, but it's hard. I feel like, most of the time, my life isn't mine anymore. When I have to work at both jobs I'm out of the house by 7am and I don't get home until almost midnight. I drive straight from the library to Sbux, get about 20 minutes to change, find some food for dinner, and then quickly eat it! Thankfully my day job is more of a thinking job than a physical one, because once I get to Sbux I don't stop moving. So, the days when I work at both places suck, but then the off days aren't exactly what you'd call relaxing. When I only have to work at the library, my evenings are full of running errands, making dinner, and then passing out well before 10pm (who am I kidding, I generally get sleepy around 8pm) because I just can't keep my eyes open any longer. And I can't tell you the last time I had a day off from both places...oh wait, yeah, Christmas!!

I just wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to do this! I need to do it as long as I possibly can. Antoine and I are working our asses off now so we can have the future that we want. But when you're tired at 8pm and your body aches or you can't remember where your keys are and you search all over just to discover that they are in the front door (and have been all night), it's sometimes hard to remember all the good reasons you're working so hard.

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