Wedding Talk

It's been almost two and a half months since Antoine and I got engaged and there hasn't been nearly enough wedding talk on here.  Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of subjecting you delightful folks to inspiration boards and various other forms of wedding porn.  Because, that's just not my thing.  Weirdly enough, I went through a spurt way before we got engaged when that shit was my drug of choice.  But then, all of sudden I cooled the f#@k down and now I really could care less about that stuff.  Since I've been engaged I haven't bought a single wedding magazine, mainly because I'm not a magazine person.  But also because...meh.  And I really have no intention of ever buying one.  And as far as blogs go, I only read one wedding related blog and that's A Practical Wedding.  The most grounded and significant wedding/marriage blog EVER!  Or at least in my opinion. It talks about the important stuff, the stuff that goes beyond wedding favors and matching bridemaid's dresses.  You know, things like emotional connections, commitment, and not losing your sense of sense.  It's the shit, you should check it out.

When A and I got engaged we always thought we'd like a long engagement, for several reasons.  A long engagement gives you time to save up money and, for me in particular, save up vacation time for the honeymoon!  It gives you time to plan and decide on things without being in such a hurry.  My sister and brother-in-law had a long engagement, about as long as ours.  Michelle always told me she liked the extra time to plan, that she felt like she didn't have to rush.  I thought, "Sweet! That makes perfect sense!"  Only thing I forgot, my sister and I are totally different.  She's known to be indecisive.  Actually, her inability to make decisions is quite legendary.  Me, on the other hand, I like to make decisions at the drop of a hat.  I tend to go with my gut, and I tend not to second guess those gut reactions.  That's something Antoine and I have done throughout our relationship, even with the big decisions, and they've all worked out.  So, what's my point.  We're only 2 1/2 months into our 1 1/2 year long engagement...and we've pretty much got everything figured out.  And no, I'm not exaggerating...

Photographer:  CHECK!  One of my high school friends, who lives and shoots in Cleveland, has a agreed to photograph our wedding and do our engagement shots.  And it won't cost us nearly as much as most wedding photographers our there.  And bonus, I know her, she's super nice and talented, and will make us relative shy people feel super comfortable!

Guest list:  CHECK!  There was a some brief arguing about this, but we came to a good compromise and ended up with a nice, balanced guest list of about 50 people...the smallest we could get without seriously offending my parents and without leaving out some important people to us.  50 guests will keep it fairly intimate and hopefully not make me too uncomfortable...I have socially awkward tendencies when I'm in front of a group of 5 or more.

Ceremony:  All figured out!  We know exactly where we want to get hitched, it's within our budget, and since we've still got over a year to go it shouldn't be difficult to reserve!  More on that later...

Reception:  We've decided to have our reception at Arnold's Bar and Grill downtown.  Lucky for us, our date was free and everything sounds perfect.  As far as wedding receptions go, it's going to be relative inexpensive, cozy and laid back, just how we want it!  Since they've written us in their books and we're planning a meeting in October to discuss specifics, I think that might count as a CHECK!

Music for the ceremony:  CHECK!  My wonderfully talented cousin and her equally talented boyfriend have agreed to perform a couple of our favorite songs, songs that mean something to us as a couple, at the ceremony.  It won't be your traditional wedding processional, but that's what we like about it!  And we like that family is involved.

Invitations:  We found the perfect invites on Etsy, and what do you know, they are just the right price!   Another big decision made!  One that we happened to make one weekend afternoon, just after we got engaged.

Bridesmaids/Groomsmen:  CHECK!  This was obvious to us when we first got engaged.  We knew we didn't want a ton of people in our wedding party, just the select few that are super important to us and have meant something to our relationship.  For me, I knew without thinking, I wanted my best friend in the world, my hlp Amanda, and my dear sis standing up next to me on that important day!  And for Antoine, he knew he want his best bud Cory and his brother.  Easy as pie.

Bridesmaids dresses:  I've been in a wedding before, I've worn the traditional bridesmaid dress from David's Bridal...and then, after the wedding, I've donated it to Good Will because I obviously was never going to wear it again.  That's the nature of most bridemaids dresses...and it's not cool.  So I knew from the beginning that I wanted my bridesmaids to pick out their own dresses, dresses that didn't match each other and weren't from some bridal store.  Dresses that hopefully wouldn't cost them anywhere near $100 or more.  And most importantly, I wanted them to wear a dress that they would actually wear again...and not as some zombie bridesmaid Halloween costume!  I gave them a couple guidelines, knee length with a slightly vintagey feel, and gave them a color palate to work with...the rest is up to them. 

Officiant:  We've got a little idea in our heads that we think will be pretty perfect, but more on that later...

Cake:  Sure, wedding cakes are pretty, but that's about all they're good for...to look at!  I've never eaten a piece of wedding cake and said afterwards, "Oh my, that was absolutely delicious!" And I'm not a huge fan of cake, in general.  Antoine and I thought, "Who says we need to have a traditional wedding cake!?  We could care less about the whole cutting the cake and feeding each other thing!"  So, we decided to to change it up and go with something we know is delicious, something locally produced by people who know their stuff, and something that has warm fuzzy relationship memories tied to it.  When we thought about all these things two places popped into our heads...Dojo and Abby Girl Cupcakes.  These are our two favorite places to get a sweet treat in Cincinnati.  We're going to have a couple Dojo gelato cakes and a variety of our favorite Abby Girl Cupcakes.  The cupcakes will double as our favors, since we'll have single cupcake containers and enough for everyone to take one home!  So, yeah, that's pretty much another CHECK right there!

Flowers:  I've always kind of wanted to do my own flowers, for some reason.  I love flowers and I like being crafty, so the idea of sitting around with my bridesmaids and my mom the day before the wedding, putting together bouquets and tiny centerpieces sounds awesome to me.  After some research, I've decided to go with Blooms by the Box, and narrowed down the colors (lavendars, light greens, light pinks, creams and little pops of purple...think Larkspur) and a basic idea of the types.  So, I guess that's a CHECK!

Dress:  Umm, CHECK!  (Shh, don't tell my mom...I've promised to go dress shopping with her, because it's one of those things that's important to her.)  So, I've always had my eye on this one J. Crew dress, since forever, or at least the last couple of years.  So, when it went on sale just after we got engaged and had an additional limited-time extra discount on top of that and free shipping I jumped on it.  I had never tried it on before (or anything J. Crew for that matter), I totally guessed on the size, but I got it and I'm kind of in love with it!  It's going to need some alterations, mainly in the hem, but that's no big deal.  So, yeah, that's done!  And it only cost me $250...which is pretty cheap, as far as wedding dresses go.

Registry:  CHECK!  I get the point of registries, I do.  They make sense, some of the time.  But you gotta admit, they've become something of a wedding beast monster!  I mean, really, do you think someone is going to buy you that $600 flat screen tv?  Really!?  And for Antoine and I, who already have a house full of pretty much everything we need (a lot of it fairly new), it seems a little like a waste.  So, what we've opted to do is a relatively minimal Amazon registry with some of those things that we do need for the house (all of our selections being ones that offer free shipping or Super Saver shipping), and we also created a Honeymoon registry.   We opted to go with a homegrown honeymoon registry through my lovely sister, the travel agent, instead of one of those online honeymoon registries that charge fees to either the bride and groom or their guests.  And speaking of honeymoons...

Honeymoon:  CHECK!  It's pretty much planned.  Down to where we're are staying every night of the trip.  We'll be spending a little less than three weeks exploring all the awesomeness of the West Coast, from Seattle to L.A.  It is going to be magically, deliciously spectacular!!  I'm so excited!

To say things are coming along nicely might be a bit of an understatement.  And I know that things will not always go as smoothly as they have so far, I'm not a complete fool!  But so far, things are pretty peachy!  And I'm really digging the progress we've made!

One Month

It's officially been one month since Antoine proposed and I said "yes" and "but I'm sick and in my pajamas!"  I'm finally getting used to wearing a ring.  In fact, I would totally miss it now if I weren't wearing it.  Plus, it's pretty.  I still haven't quite mastered the use of "fiance" instead of "boyfriend"!  I usually have to correct myself mid-sentence.  But I assume that's par for the course.

As far as planning goes, it's been very laid back so far.  In the beginning I wanted to hold off beginning to plan right away, you know, so we could just bask in the fact that we're engaged!  And then when the planning began it was, for the most part, pretty fluid and easy.  We've already nailed down a fantastic photographer, a high school friend of mine.  We're pretty sure where we want to have the ceremony and where we want to have the reception.  What kind of cake(s) we'll be having.  We've found our invitations.  We have a pretty good idea of what our guest list will look like.  And I've got a good idea of what we're doing for flowers.  We've got our attendants...all four of them!  And they seemed to pleased as punch to celebrate our special day with us.  Oh, and we've set a date...May 26th, 2013.  So, we've got a year and four months to figure out the rest.  I'd say we're looking pretty good so far.

In the meantime, I just finished reading this fantastic book called A Practical Wedding that I'd suggest to any bride-to-be, or any woman who sees herself as a potential bride-to-be in the future.  There's also a pretty awesome blog to accompany it that goes by the same name.  It keeps you sane, tells you to ignore all that wedding porn and focus on the stuff that matters.  I dig it.

I'll keep you updated on the progress as we go along, hopefully the planning continues on this mellow yet exciting trajectory.  Fingers crossed.  

Big News!!

So, I've got some very big news to share with you all.  Well, it might now be new news to you if you're a facebook or twitter friend, but oh well, just act like it is, okay!?  My big mountain of awesome news?  Oh, you know, Antoine proposed!!  And I naturally said yes, because I ain't no fool!

Sit on down, get comfy and I'll tell you all the story of surprise and jubilation...

It happened on Monday.  Monday December 19th.  I was home sick from work with a cold, but by the afternoon I was feeling a little more lifelike.  Antoine was out running some errands.  I was home in my pjs, crocheting on the couch with the Cheese-man by my side, popping cough drops like nobody's business.

Exhibit A

Antoine came home and was acting a little funny.  But that's normal, were we have a tendency to be weirdos sometimes (shh, don't tell the normal people).  Plus, I was kind of in the zone with the scarf I was working on.  Do-do-do-do-do.  (That's me in the crocheting zone, by the way!)  So, Antoine asks me to come into the dining room.  I'm like, "yeah, yeah, let me finish this row!"  (Silly person! Pay attention. Big things are about to happen!)  So I walk in and he points to the chalkboard wall, where he has written "Will You Marry Me!?".  I look stunned and turn back to him and he's on his knee saying he loves me and will I marry him!  I can't really remember what I said next, besides yes...then I proceeded to hug him a million times and say "But I'm sick!  And I'm in my pajamas!?"  Like that matters!

Sparkly custom-made ring based on a 1930s design. I am in love! 

So, now I call my boyfriend my fiance, which feels weird but awesome.  I'd say Antoine is going to make an honest lady out of me, but I don't think that's really possible (I would never and will never describe myself as "a lady"!).  I am beyond excited!  But I'm still in that phase of giggly, fluttery nervousness right now, and it feels strange to have a ring on my finger (I never wear rings).  Especially one so sparkly!  But it feels strange in the best way possible!  I can't stop staring at my finger.  Antoine can't stop staring at my finger.  It's delightful!

So, anticipate some engagement/wedding talk on here.  I cannot deny that it's going to be on the brain, so, consider yourself forewarned! 

Merry Christmas to me indeed!!

Happy Endings

This past Friday was Veterans Day, which meant that I had the day off from work.  It was also 11-11-11 and the day of my long time friend Johlene's wedding.  Johlene and I have been friends since birth.  We're 6 months months apart in age, and our mother's were best friends and lived right next door to each other while they were pregnant with us.  So, it was fated that Johlene and I would be inseparable, and we were until my parents decided to move five years old.  We moved from Elyria to the middle of nowhere Ohio, nearly an hour away, but still remained close friends throughout childhood and into puberty.  We've still kept in contact all these years, mainly when I would come home to visit my parents and Johlene would cut my hair (she's a hair stylist, and a darned good one).  For years she was in a pretty committed relationship, and then three years ago she bravely ended it.  She finally realized that she wasn't getting what she needed out of it, that she wasn't being appreciated or adored the way she should be.  Then she met Ben.  And before you knew it, they were engaged. 

Since Johlene is a family friend it was only natural that my entire immediate family was invited to the wedding.  So, Saturday Antoine and I drove up to northern Ohio to meet up with my parents and my sis and brother-in-law to witness Johlene and Ben's nuptials and celebrate.  I'll get to the celebrating later, because there was far too much of it...on my end!  But for right now, here's some shots of the happy couple during their first dance...

Question of Xmas '09: Did He Put a Ring On It!?

This Christmas season I received many great gifts, a couple flannel shirts from Antoine, a grill from my sister and her husband, a really nice spice rack from my parents, etc, but most people didn't really care about these gifts. No, the question on everyone's tongue was whether Antoine put a ring on my finger for Christmas. It's been the question on everyone's mind since we moved in together, they ask "When? Is he going to ask you soon?". Like it's assumed that since we're living together and sharing a house that a wedding needs to follow. Although, it might be a question of decency and innocence that is under attack? You know, that whole "why buy the milk when you can get it for free business". Or, the third reason (the one I tend to prefer) could be that the askers (namely my mom, my grandma, and older female friends) see Antoine and I as a great pair. They can tell that we obviously are crazy about one another so why wouldn't a little diamond ring be the next step? I'll stick with that last reason, and maybe add in a little bit of the first (because I kind of thought that way before I met Antoine).

The answer to everyone's question this holiday season: no, no Antoine did not get down on one knee. And surprisingly I'm not bummed out about it. Don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE it if he did, but I'm happy with where we are right now. I didn't expect to be here, owning a house with my boyfriend of not even two years, but I wouldn't change a thing (okay, maybe I wouldn't have two jobs, but other than that...). The truth is, I know it's coming, I just don't know when. I know Antoine loves me more than anything and we've talked about the future until we've gone blue in the face. And I'm happy to serenely wait for that perfect moment, because until then I'm still an extremely lucky person to have so much love in my life.

On the topic of marriage, I was reading another blog today, one of a local single woman (one of her posts spurred this post). In one of her older quest-for-love-posts she wrote something to the affect that every woman wants to get married and have babies and the dream of that is always on our minds. While I love her blog and agree with most of the things she says, I have to disagree with this particular statement. I think while it's assumed that all little girls grow up daydreaming about their wedding and about the perfect little family they are going to create, it's not always the case. I will admit that, while for most of my life I've prided myself on being a self-proclaimed non-girly girl, I was on of those little girls. Except I only ever thought of the wedding and the man, not the family. Since I was younger I've always been anti-kids, for me not for other people. Children just never made sense to me, maybe because I was a terror when I was little, maybe because I've always been more comfortable around people who were older than me, who knows? So, error number one: not all girls/women want babies. And while I myself am guilty of being one of those girls who dreamed about their wedding dress and their future as a "Sadie" (Sadie, Sadie married lady...come on people, watch some Funny Girl!), I know for a fact that not everyone wants that life. I know a number of women who want love, but not necessarily marriage. And from my personal opinion, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I can especially understand that now from where I'm currently am in my life, happy as an unwed woman sharing a home and life with the man I love. I'm happy where life has brought me and if I hadn't been one of those little girls who dreamed about my wedding and about being someone's wife I could definitely see everything staying the same as it is right now. But alas, I'll concede and admit that I'm a girly girl and that I'm happily waiting for the day when Antoine puts a ring on it!