Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Evils of Target

Every time I walk into Target I am like a moth to flame. Even if I'm only there for one thing, let's say bottled water, I can't help but be drawn towards the women's clothing section. Even if I'm trying to make a conscious effort to avoid women's clothing I will spot something, in the corner of my eye and..."Ooooooo!" And I'm gone! Ask Antoine! He'll tell you! Or my old roommate and best friend Amanda! (Who, occasionally, has that affliction as well!) It's almost as if they pump some sort of meth-like substance (that only affects women) into the air as you're entering the store...then as you get closer and closer to the women's clothing section the air becomes more and more concentrated with this euphoria-inducing drug until you're brain equates this feeling of extreme happiness with the clothes on the racks! BOOM! You're hooked! You can't leave! Any attempts by a male to lure you out of this soft, colorful, drug-filled den are fruitless and met with pure aggression! I really think we should look into this folks! What Target is doing cannot be legal! I think a citizen's arrest is in order!

Case in point: Tuesday Antoine and I went into Target for two things: bottled water and a shaker to put powdered sugar in. But as soon as we walked in the door I made a b-line for women's clothing after spotting an interesting cobalt blue top (which later I tried on and looked horrible on me). Next thing you know, I'm holding 6 tops in one hand while perusing through clearance racks with the other. In the end I think I tried on maybe 15 tops, give or take! Poor Antoine! He stood by the cart while I was trying on tops and occasionally I'd call out "Psst" from the dressing room so he could evaluate whether that specific top was a thumbs up or a thumbs down. To my credit, I consider myself a very quick changer! Generally I can take 25% more clothing into a fitting room than the other woman I'm with (whether it's my sis, my mom or Amanda) and I'll still finish before her! If changing clothes were like gun-slinging I'd be the most feared outlaw in the West!

Anywho...I was able to evade Target with only two tops in tow! Impressive, considering the amount I had tried on! I ended up buying this cute purple floral flowy cami and this really cool grey sleeveless top with this interesting cut-out thingy going on at the neckline! I was pretty pleased with my might even say ecstatic! Antoine will attest that I was practically jumping up and down, mainly because I wanted to try the grey top on but they didn't have one in my size, but then as we were leaving the clothing area, there one was...on the wrong rack! It was like fate! I tried it on and it fit perfectly! So naturally, I was giddy! And without a doubt, I will be packing both shirts for L-ville this weekend (that is, if I ever get a chance to pack)!

No comments: