Thursday, May 13, 2010

Feeling Low...

As of late I've been a little down. The cause? A combination of a lot of, weight gain, the nasty weather, quarrels with certain peoples, work, money, sickness, work, money, work, work, work. Sometimes, no matter how much you try, it's just unavoidable to get into a little bit of a funk. And I'll admit it...I'm a wallower. A quiet wallower, but a wallower nonetheless! What do I mean by quiet wallower? Well, I'm not one to openly share what's bothering me. Maybe with Antoine...maybe. Sure I'll vent some of my frustrations, sometimes, but if I'm in pain, you don't know about it...if I'm starting to despise my part time job, it mostly goes undetected...if I feel like a big old blob, I eat another cookie...

Healthy, I know! So, why am I telling all this to you, the random people who read my blog, you very few souls? Hmm, well, I'm not 100% sure! Maybe because I've felt a little disconnected lately! With myself and with the people around me, even those people that are supposed to be so close to me! Part of that disconnect I'm experiencing at my job (mainly the second one...sbux). I feel like I'm different from everyone else I don't belong. And I don't just mean in the capacity that this is my second job, while it's many people's first and only. No, it's something I don't fit in. Which has always been a problem for me, and I guess it always will be.

Also, I guess I want to say that this blog, while a great outlet for me, has been part of the reason I've been a little bummed. I know I'm not the most interesting person in the world, but when I started this whole thing I have to admit I kind of hoped for more than 4 followers (one of which is Antoine, who I practically forced into becoming my follower!). I'm sure everyone thinks that though. There's probably a point in everyone's blogging when they send their feelings of loneliness and isolation out into the deep void of the internets, hoping for more! And I guess it's not so much the answer that you get or the followers who subscribe that matter the most, it's your personal commitment to your blog, for you and only you! So, that's what I'm going to do. Who cares if only a handful of people read this, if I can get any sort of relief or comfort from sharing myself here...then great!

In other news, I bought 9 pairs of earrings yesterday for only $13!! I'm so psyched...probably more psyched than a person should be about earrings! But who cares!!

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