Friday, August 6, 2010

Moving On...

I've always been one to embrace change, realizing that change is a good thing and things tend to happen for a reason! Well, now I feel like kicking change in the face because it's taking away my best friend. Yesterday was Amanda's last day in Cincinnati. Her and her fella packed up their apartment and moved to Indianapolis today! Yes, I know it's only two hours away from Cincinnati. And yes, I know I'm being a complete drama queen! But you know can just shove it, you meanie! I'm sorry, I apologize for my rudeness...I'm a little distraught! Here, let me explain why...

It all started about 7 years ago, give or take. I was just a lonely, scared freshman at Xavier trying to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life (i.e. do I want to major in English or it made a difference! Like your major defines you as a person!). My freshman year wasn't exactly the most enjoyable year of my life (that's putting it nicely)! I was living in a dorm, I went through 3 different roommates in one year (one of which tried to off herself via Advil...but that's a different story), and I had a full class load. I was also coming to terms with the fact that, while I had a good number of friends in high school, making friends in college wasn't that easy for me! I was shy, I avoided all the usual gathering spots of my fellow coeds (i.e. the student center and the cafeteria), and I almost never talked in class...that is, until I met Amanda.

Amanda, who was a second year transfer student from Chillicothe and also an English major, was in two of my English class and a history class. In our English class, where she sat right next to me, one day we started making conversation with one another (probably reveling with one another in the absolute kookiness of our professor). Eventually we became study partners. And then, in the summer when I mentioned that I was looking for an apartment near campus (because I couldn't stand dorm life) she mentioned that there was a two bedroom apt opening up in her building...and would I be up for a roommate!? Well, I thought to myself, this chick doesn't revolve her life around soccer and guys (roommate #1), she doesn't appear to be a cutter or mentally unstable (roommate #2), and she doesn't look like she could karate chop me into oblivion (roommate #3...the only dorm roommate I actually genuinely liked and didn't drive me nuts)..."HELL YES!".

So, that was the beginning of Amanda and I! We were roommates for four happy years. And in those four years we became fast friends. Actually we became more than that...we became HLPs (Heterosexual Life Partners...a name we coined for ourselves and others whole-heartily agreed with! We came up with it while sharing a house with a lesbian couple my Senior year at XU...when we acted like more of a domestic partnership than they did). We would go grocery shopping together, study together, I would make dinner and she would do dishes! We watched Gilmore Girls together, and I forced her to watch countless reruns of America's Next Top Model! She's the person I was with the first time I got drunk, and many times after that! We were fish parents many, many fish (RIP Dustin Hoffman and David Duchovny...two of our favorites)! We traveled England, Scotland, Wales, France, Colorado, etc. It was all around good times!

Two years ago, we finally parted...I moved into my own apartment in Oakley and she moved back home for a short time. Then, she came back to Cincy and got her own apartment in Clifton. Still connected at the hip, just no longer grocery shopping together, I was there when she started grad school at UC and she was there when I got both my jobs. We were there for each other to support each other in our various relationships and personal endeavors. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that my HLP has been integral part of my adult life!

We've studied abroad together: eating our peanut butter sandwiches, exploring castles, hopping on trains to Inverness and Caerphilly, playing "10 pence" (UK adapted "Quarters") in our flat with other students, walking through Green park, attempting to order a ham and cheese baguette in French without knowing what the heck we were saying, etc.

We survived the massive blizzard of '08 together. Determined not to be holed up in our apartment on Amanda's birthday we roamed around for hours playing in the snow and acting like 5 year olds!

We drove half way across the U.S. to Colorado together. We hiked in Rocky Mountain National Park together and Amanda discovered that she was a chipmunk whisperer.

We nearly suffered heat stroke in St. Louis in the middle of August together!

We've celebrated birthdays together...some good, some bad (and some where Amanda gets all creepy with her beer bottle)!

I wouldn't trade the last 7 years for anything. They've been some of the best years of my life...and Amanda's partly responsible for that! I'm going to miss having her here, just a 10 minute drive away.

At Red River Gorge on our ritual girls weekend away with my sis and her bff.

Blizzard of '08: Amanda wandering around Mariemont in the snow.

I know she'll only be two hours away, which isn't that far...but I can't help but feel scared and uncomfortable with this change. I'm sure things will be fine. But this change, this sense of not-knowing doesn't sit well with me! I miss her already, more than I can express! I feel disconnected and somewhat alone, like I'm losing a piece of my history. But if the last 7 years have taught me anything, it is that things happen for a reason and with everything there is a balance and a purpose. So, we shall see!


antoine said...

I actually had a tear!

wonderousclusterf#@k said...

There were definitely some tears in my eyes while I was writing it! :(

Christian said...

It does suck having close friends live far away, no doubt about it. Most of mine live well out of town, but with a bit of work and frequent contact, they've managed to last through the years. It'll take some getting used to not having Amanda around, but you guys will still be HLP (4 Life.)

Steve G said...

The friends you grow up with are the best friends you'll ever have.

I'd take a mere two hours away to see my best friends any time. Instead all my real mates are 4000+ miles away.

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how much this means to me. I will be in touch tomorrow.

Your HLP