Sometimes Days Just Suck...

So, Wednesday night was another back to back day. Worked at the library 7:30am to 4:30pm...then I had to be at Sbux by 5:30pm. Those days are not the funnest. I'm generally tired and cranky and hungry! So, I got to sbux (on time) and started cleaning. A woman came in and ordered a eggnog latte...I was on register and my friend Vanessa (aka the shift supervisor) was on bar. She poured said eggnog into a pitcher to steam it, but before she got a chance the woman changed her mind and ordered a salted caramel hot chocolate. Vanessa set the unsteamed nog aside and made the lady's hot chocolate. Then she put the eggnog into a paper cup for herself (yes, she's one of those weirdos who actually likes that stuff). I was going about my business trying to shut down the bar when I accidentally bump the cup of eggnog with my arm. Now, I was standing right up against the counter when this happened...so the eggnog traveled across the counter, to the edge, and then a full stream of it, probably the equivalent of half a short cup, cascaded directly into my right apron pocket! Now, under normal circumstances this would be no biggy! Gross, but no big deal! Well, not last night! No, last night I happened to have my iPhone in my right apron pocket, instead of on the counter where I usually have it, or even in my back pocket of my pants!

I immediately freak the frick out! I plunge my hand into my pocket o' nog and fish out my lovely iPhone...which was completely covered with a rich, thick layer of eggnog grossness! I panic. Vanessa throws me a towel and I collapse onto the ground and attempt to preform iPhone CPR! I wipe off the initial eggnog on the cover, then I notice that the eggnog has went to all my iPhone's "special places"! The headphone jack...filled with eggnog. The dock connector thing-a-ma-bob...filled with eggnog. The speakers...filled with eggnog. I shake it, to try to get out some of the nog and it's almost as if a river of eggnog flows from the "special places". And I sit there, hunched over on the floor, almost in tears!

I take a dry towel and attempt to preform triage, cleaning all the nooks and crannies where the eggnog is lurking. Then the thought occurs to me to see if it's working. I've killed a (Verizon) phone before by placing it next to a sweating glass of water, but nothing this extreme! I held my breath and home button...IT'S ALIVE! I immediately see my adorable picture of the Cheese-man on the cover and feel slightly less panicked! Then, I attempt to text...SUCCESS!! Then, I test my apps...SUCCESS again! Then, I tell Vanessa to call me...
...

...

... nothing.

Apparently she could hear me, but I heard nothing. The panic flares back up! This is my phone...I have no land line/home phone...this is IT! For the rest of the night I have a proverbial storm cloud over my head. And to top it all off, we were pretty busy all night and each minute that went by I was getting further and further behind. I was distracted, distraught, exhausted, uncaffinated, and pissy. Not a good combo...not conducive to productivity. A couple hours pass and I'm finally vacuuming the leftover espresso beans from the espresso machine I had been attempting to shut down for the last hour or two, and...LIGHTBULB!! I take the wet/dry vac and start vacuuming the crevasses of my phone. And soon I see ribbons of eggnog goo being pulled out of the iPhone's special places! I vacuum every single centimeter of the that phone.

Time for call test part two...SUCCESS!!! I can't finally make out Vanessa voice on the other end of the phone. She sounds a bit muffled, but I'll take it! Now, I felt much more at ease and I began to focus, hardcore, on trying to get out of sbux at a reasonable time...which obviously wasn't in the cards, because apparently wants me to have an mini-emotional breakdown and then...TRY TO KILL ME!! Yes, you heard right...Sbux is trying to kill me!

Let me explain, I was going about my business...trying to breakdown my second espresso bar. I need an empty silver coffee bag (aka bullet...aka giant bags of coffee that are in shiny silver bags). We keep our empty bags in a cabinet directly under the coffee brewing station. I was rifling through the bags trying to find an empty espresso bag (because I'm anal like that) and all of a sudden there's this bright blue *FLASH* and this loud *POP* just inches from my hand. I instinctively recoil in fear...then Vanessa and I carefully remove all the empty bags and see that the gigantic outlet (that the brewer is plugged into) in the back of the cabinet is hanging from the wall...not normal! Vanessa and I then spend the next 15 minutes calling it in and attempting to find the right breaker to turn off. As Vanessa is leaving a note for the morning crew she notices that one of the coffee bullets from the cabinet was singed...proof that Sbux is trying to kill me:

I kept pointing at it and saying, "That could have been me!" So Vanessa had to do this, so the morning crew could get an idea of how fantastic our night was.

We ended up getting out of there around midnight...about 30 to 45 minutes later than we usually do. So, I didn't get home until 12:30. Then Antoine took apart my iPhone, we soaked up what little remainders of eggnog we could spot on its insides. Then, another phone test...this one was the best so far! It sounded mostly back to normal. The speaker/volume is still a little muffled, but not that bad. It could have been worse...but then again, it could have been better too!

*Alternate title to this post: "Eggnog: the Devil's Juice"